Dear only child,

If you are anything like me, you like to observe and gather all your facts before you state your opinions on a specific topic. You know, for accuracy purposes! I do this because it helps me have enough time to have all my citations in alphabetical order and to avoid the confused look of “ when did I do such a thing? However, sometimes it is self-evident that the act done to you or to someone you care about is unjust, and the only time to speak up is during the time of occurrence. Truth be told, I struggle with this because due to the reason stated in the beginning about gathering my facts accurately, and I like to have some rationale for why I am raising my voice in the first place. Have you ever been in a room with people who talk without giving consideration to who asked them to speak in the first place, or if they were asked to speak, why were they dodging the initial question? I knowwwwwwww, I can relate, too. I don’t necessarily agree with how the action was carried out, but the motive is valid. They inform everyone in that room/space that they are present and refuse to be overlooked. So, I actually commend it. 

I acknowledge that sometimes the professors do not have after-class time to answer my questions due to their hectic schedules, so it is now or never, meaning either I ask my question in class or I go back to my dorm room uncertain. So, I sit at the front, so I don’t feel the need to yell to ask my question. My voice is pretty low, and I don’t particularly appreciate raising my voice when what needs to be said can be said softly. 

Example 2:

  Dear only child, don’t let them skip you in the line. Yes, as simple as this is, I have allowed people to skip me just because I did not want to stir up “trouble.” You can’t forget you have things to do.

So, why do I say don’t let people skip the line? Firstly, it’s a simple principle. I came here first, and I did my time waiting until I could get help. Secondly, when people skip you purposefully, they have registered in their brains that you don’t MATTER/ You don’t EXIST and dear only child, you do! 

When I was at Grinnell, we discussed a lot about what it means to be invisible as a black individual in America today, and I have questions. When you intentionally skip me in line, is it an attempt to indirectly praise those who denied our rights several centuries ago, or is it an ego thing, or does the other person believe their time is more important than others? Is it a combination of things? It could be, or it could be none of the above. The fact of the matter is you, only child, are important because you are a PERSON. You breathe, sleep, and perform many other functions that lower animals can’t merely do, and regardless of other aspects that make up your identity, you were blessed with a voice. No one will advocate for yourself better than you. I remembered to advocate for myself at Tar-get the other day. This man came right in front of me, and it was undeniable that I was first in line because I was standing at the designated spot. Plus, his wife pointed out noooooo she was here, but only after I said something. Sometimes, you have to check people!!

One more thing. Asking for clarification when you interpret a situation or conversation differently is not being extra. I say this because as someone that likes to mind their business(most of the time lol) if you don’t say, I don’t ask. The problem with that, however, is the fact that humans are social beings. Action speaks louder than words. If I am in an environment that promotes curious minds and effective communication from the staff to the students, but I feel some hostility because I asked “for what reason” and then shortly after was written up for misconduct? 👀👀

Did I leave you on a cliffhanger? Well, make sure you check out my YouTube channel(modish_ye) to hear the full story!

Song associated with this blog post: Brave By Sara Bareilles