Speaking the native language of either your father or mother or both, if possible, is fantastic. I get so excited when my father and I converse in Yoruba (especially when I need to yab someone lol). I think it’s funny how people think they know soooo much about me. Little do they know, I am full of surprises. I have been learning to speak and understand Yoruba since I was three. SURPRISE! 

My dad thought it was vital for me to connect with my roots even though I was born and raised in H-town, baby! A lot of family members did not support my dad’s decision to teach me Yoruba. They couldn’t understand why an educated man would regularly inform his daughter on the difference between how to address an elder and how to talk to her peers. I am not going to lie. I used to think it was never that deep. A man wants to teach his daughter a language that the white man did not invent or critique, so let him! Dear only child, it is essential to remember when people don’t understand your logic for pursuing a specific goal, they are really blaming their arrogance on your decision to exclude them in your choices.  It is not your place to justify your means of achieving your goal. Everyone has an opinion, but don’t let that distract you from what you know you have to do. I am glad he didn’t listen to anyone. He had a goal, visualized how to execute, and did just that! 

Also, for those who do not speak, understand, or write the language of their parents does not mean they are less of an individual or specifically less Nigerian. So, just because some Nigerians, for example, did not have the opportunity to learn any of the languages spoken in Nigeria does not mean they are less of a Nigerian. Language is just one of the elements that can be added to a person. The language you speak is not your entire identity.  For instance, you are not Nigerian because you can speak Yoruba. You are Nigerian because you were born in Nigeria, your parents or grandparents are from Nigeria or through registration. The same logic applies to those who are called Hispanic. Someone is referred to as Hispanic because they speak Spanish, not because they are from Mexico or Argentina. If you don’t speak Spanish, you are still from those places; you just don’t speak the native language. I am not sorry for going on a somewhat rant, but I wish to emphasize that language is not the absolute identifier of someone’s character, personality, or mere existence. Other things are considered. Do you know some of the customs practiced in that country? What are your beliefs on some of the policies in that country? How do you contribute to helping others know about your country? Do you educate yourself about your country through reading, watching movies, etc.? If you can answer one or some of these questions, then it seems to me, you are indeed a citizen, and you are representing your country wherever you go. 

In hindsight, be careful how you perceive someone when they don’t speak the same language as you. Who are you to belittle another individual even though you would have been in the same position if someone had not taught you? Dear only child, this life is about learning, and we don’t embark on the train of ignorance. Don’t forget only child at one point we all didn’t know how to do something, but with practice and patience, we learned. So if you know something and you are inclined to educate and teach those who don’t know their parent’s native tongue and they are willing to learn,  please feel free to do so,  especially those who happen to be an only child. WE HAVE TO STICK TOGETHER! 

My father taught me Yoruba because he knew I was going to Nigeria one day to further my education. He knew, but I didn’t. Many times I wanted to say the phrases in English since I spoke it everywhere except at home with him. I still feel like this today, to be honest. However, I push through. I learned Yoruba and English around the same time, so sometimes words get jumbled up, and if I am passionate about a particular topic, I tend to speak the two without hesitation. 

• Speaking English is what I was comfortable with, but was it necessarily good to be ignorant and oppose to learn another language? No, it wasn’t. 

I am also grateful that I learned  Yoruba because now I know when people are talking about me. Only cowards, in my opinion, speak about you behind your back. But speaking in a language that is not understood by everyone in that setting is simply disrespectful. I am not saying you need to create a space for me to be comfortable in because you are free to voice your opinions. However, please do not take one look at me and automatically decide that she does not look like one of us, so we treat her like dirt, and we do this by talking about her in front of her in her language. HOW RUDE! There are so many reasons why such an ideology is wrong. 

1.) We all look different. We come in various shapes, sizes, and shade range, so a Nigerian doesn’t have a “look.”That is just plain ignorance, and such a mindset is problematic for young girls and boys to believe. 

2.) I do not know if you know, but if you don’t know, now you know. I am 25% Nigerian, 25% South-African, 25% Namibian, and 25% African- American. Essentially black, black, black and black. SOOOOOO, what “look” am I supposed to have? Now, I will say this. I am guilty of generalizing certain features to certain groups of people, especially if they are typically found among that group of people. For instance, most Caucasian individuals have narrow noses. So, if I see a woman that could pass as white with a wider nose, I will say she either had her nose done or she is mixed (has African- American/African in her genes). I realize the individuality of human beings by not placing them in certain categories for them to meet a certain “standard.” But due to some general guidelines or facts, I can distinguish certain ethnicities, races, and nationalities from others. I hope that made sense, and I am not contradicting myself! Anyway,

3.) I do not want to give people the impression that my nationality defines my existence. Yes, I am grateful for the opportunity to have parents who come from 2 different regions of Africa, but there is more to me. 

I am so glad that I was able to write my thoughts on the importance of language. However, this was just the beginning! I am yet to tell you about my mother’s languages. Not to worry those thoughts will be available in my next post! 

SONG: India Arie- I AM NOT MY HAIR.